As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to separate what we believe politically from other aspects of our lives. From the cost of items at the grocery store to your everyday conversations about work, what’s happening in the political world tends to find a way to creep in. I will admit that when I started dating my current partner, I had assumptions about his politics that made me unsure whether it would work out between us. However, I figured it would be unfair to not give him a chance to explain his beliefs. So I asked him questions, and he was more than happy to answer them. Congrats on becoming more politically engaged and forming a strong perspective on what matters to you—it’s difficult, but meaningful work.

My Life

You’re going to have to break up your routine if you date them. If you can’t handle a bumpy schedule then this type of relationship might not work out. There are several things to consider when choosing a life partner.

My socialist ex and I didn’t break up just because he didn’t ‘believe in the state’ – it was because his views were part of who he was as a person, and ultimately, we were too different. We all know that couples with similar backgrounds are more likely to last longer – it’s why people of certain religions and ethnicities tend to marry within their communities. It tends to be because they already know each other’s ways, which makes it easier to start a family together. “My husband comes from a very large Costa Rican family, and I come from a small half black, half caucasian family. While it was hard in different ways for both of us to learn how to navigate our early relationship, we found a lot of growth from within each other’s family dynamics. My parents split a month into dating, and with that, we found that asking questions, and learning how the other placed value on their families, especially with traditions and dividing time, was huge.

Prepare for change

You don’t have to worry about causing the other person to lose interest in you, or about making things better. If there’s no conflict between the two of you, then it’s likely that you will have less pressure to make things work. One of the best ways to do this is to sit down and talk about your problems and let each other know how you feel about them. If they are too big an issue, it becomes difficult to communicate with each other, which can cause problems in the relationship. If one person wants something that the other person thinks they shouldn’t have, this can cause conflict.

But, unfortunately, that doesn’t work for every couple. So if you’ve met someone great, who makes you happy in every way except when they open their mouth about taxes and immigration policy, what do you do? I make up one half of a politically different couple myself. And I can confirm that if you and your partner are willing to make your relationship work, there is no reason why blue and red can’t come together to make a beautiful purple. While political differences have always been difficult to manage in romantic relationships, the past few years have really exacerbated this challenge. It’s totally possible to date someone who doesn’t share your religion, especially if you and your partner aren’t super religious.

So, you make a specific plan to go take pictures with friends. Maybe you’re nervous about doing a virtual date; so, you practice doing that. Some of it is just breaking down what can feel overwhelming into smaller, doable parts. For the maximizer, it’s really about understanding that you can’t date everyone in the world and then figure out who’s the single best person. It’s OK to have high expectations; but when you find someone who meets those expectations and makes you happy, you should commit to the relationship and build it. They need to overcome the “grass is always greener” tendency.

For instance, if one of you is the type to yell and blow up, while the other shuts down, it’ll be hard to get to the root of any problem, Inayah Vanessa, a matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle. Soon, arguments and hurt feelings will start to pile up, and you might decide it’s just easier to go your separate ways. This can also become a problem if one partner’s sleeping habits affects the other’s.

People are starting to date again. A new book can help you navigate some of the most common pitfalls.

Overall, 47% of Americans say dating is now harder than it was 10 years ago, while 19% say it’s easier and 33% say it’s about the same. As more Americans turn to online dating and the #MeToo movement leaves its imprint on the dating scene, nearly half of U.S. adults – and a majority of women – say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years. Partnered adults are those who say they are currently married, living with a partner or in a committed romantic relationship. What happens when you want to save for a home and your beloved just wants to buy more electronic equipment? Or one of you wants to buy lunch out and the other wants to make sandwiches at home? Sure, sexual compatibility is important, but conflicts over families, finances, and even friends can disrupt a relationship just as quickly, and sometimes with more serious consequences.

And it shouldn’t necessarily be an area where you try to compromise, either. You won’t have much to talk about, you likely won’t have many goals in common, and ultimately you may decide you’d be happier with someone else. It can be draining to date a pessimist if you’re a total optimist, and vice versa.

That means you might avoid trying a new dish (even when your S.O. raves about it) if you’re unfamiliar with the ingredients and perceive that choice as somehow unsafe. When our imagination and general fear of the unknown gets the best of us, it’s difficult for your partner to get you to try anything new. There may be a lot of things about you and your partner that are different, but finding some common ground can help build a steady foundation on which you can grow together.

How to Talk With Your Partner About Differing Political Beliefs

Being able to say “we have so much in common” means you and your partner will have an endless list of things to do on date night. If you’re both writers, you can put your brains together and come up with a great story. Marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who call each other their best friend. When you say “we have so much in common,” you are saying so much more about your relationship than you know.